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First in a series
For the inaugural entry here, I'm going to start with the Top 10 overall moments of 2009.
10. That one time
9. That other time
8. That one time where that one guy did the thing that was really inspirational
7. The one time when that lady died and it was sad
6. That specific time where that team won the game
5. That episode where the writers of the show really broke new ground
4. That one time where we helped those people who needed a hand
3. That one youtube.com video that was super funny/sad/absurd/ironic
2. That time I said that one thing and most people in the room laughed
1. That time I got that woman pregnant
All easily transportable in this bad bitch.
Poor Mrs. Chicken. Of all of the people in her life, she knows that I'm the one most likely to come home with something like this.
I used to fetch lottery tickets for my parents when I was a kid. Tickets back then used to look this way:
It's going to start snowing around here one of these days. And I will not have much confidence that I will have seen the last of it until around the middle part of April 2010, at the latest.
When running through the Rules of Fight Club, many people remember firstly and seem to recall what was identified as Rule No. 1 (and 2), the order requiring one not to speak of fight club. But, often overlooked is the highly underrated yet wholly applicable No. 7 rule.
7. Fights will go on for as long as they have to.
Making sure of it.
Things everyone else seems to love but I just could not get into:
1. The Beatles
2. Buffy
3. Anime
4. The creative class
5. Contact lenses
If they died tomorrow, I wouldn't bat an eye:
1. Manu Ginobilli
2. Joe Buck
3. Matt Lauer
4. Claire Danes
5. Any of the musician assholes from those credit report commercials
If they died tomorrow, I probably wouldn't leave the house for at least a day:
1. Ernie Harwell
2. Sparky Anderson
3. Samantha Brown
4 Lemmy
5. Chuck D
I think she's fine as hell but would never admit it in a crowded room:
1. Channel 7's Kimberly Craig
2. Michelle Wie
3. Patricia Heaton
4. Caroline Rhea
5. Queen Latifah
Nobody else but me seems to like it:
1. Malt liquor
2. Fig Newtons
3. Dried-out, overcooked chicken
4. The frozen ground
5. The holidays
You'll never, ever talk me into it:
1. The receiving end of a strap-on
2. Base jumping
3. Beekeeping
4. Your religion
5. Cold soup
I will be happy when the popularity wanes:
1. Peyton and/or Eli Manning
2. Kanye
3. Ed Hardy anything
4. Fauxhawks (if you can untease it to keep your boss at Kinko's happy, there is nothing 'hawk about it)
5. The following words: manscaping, bromance, frenemy, douchebag
Sitting in the wonderment-inducing lobby of Toronto's Sheraton Centre, chatting briefly with the missus, I had in my earshot a guy leaving a voicemail message for someone. "Heyyyy Meg [name has been changed for this story], wanted to let you know I just got into TO. Looking forward to seeing you guys tonight."
While generally very much not in the custom of inserting myself into other people's shit, especially strangers, his message hung around in my head longer than it should have. This is like me, to think, to wonder, that hey, this guy might be in town to see some friends, maybe he's here for the weekend, maybe they all go back some many years in their friendship, each of them, like, 20 or 33 years they fucking go back. They probably all grew up together, have splintered off to do their own shit, but always maintained the slack on that line between the, what, three or maybe 5 of them? I came back to reality and we got into a cab, but I keep returning to a consideration of that little imaginary interlude.
You know how it feels. Look, we're all down for our friends, right? But there are some cats that you just love hanging out with. And this is probably because you don't get to see them as often as you would like. That then makes you feel like you don't get to see them as often as you need.
Think of the last time you had a great time in a room half-full with some of the people you decidedly dig the most, but get to see only infrequently. Quickly emptied rock glasses, bottles of beer, wine glasses with that nearly erased tinge of red around the inside, dishes that once held food but are now dotted only with crumbs, and by now, at some point, you hear the laughter of someone you care about. That usually stops most people, where in that micron of second you tell yourself how good of a time you're having, how you don't even want to think about this ending any time soon, how much you love these motherfuckers.
That's how I feel every fucking second I'm in Toronto.
While I certainly do not get out around the country, and the world, as I would like, dispatches from the seemingly requisite trips to Chicago and -- gasp! -- Toronto, are more frequent here than even I would like. Great, John went to Toronto again.
Scoff all you want, but being able to stand in front of places like this kind of excuses our current self-imposed, budget travel ball and chain.
All you really need to ever say about this building, for starters, is that they played Original Six hockey here. That alone crushes. But, but, they love this fucking team, and this building is oftentimes regarded as one of the greatest hockey venues since the formation of ice itself. They no longer play Maple Leaf hockey here, and my foot hurts from repeatedly kicking myself in the ass for not enjoying a game experience there when I had the chance. I loved taking these pictures today, and standing in its shadow early on a Sunday morning before we headed out was an important punctuation on the weekend.
I feel this Toronto love because my wife turned me on to it. She and her family have been coming here since she was a kid. I look forward to creating another decade or so with her brothers and their children.
Before settling in -- and this is what you happens when you travel pregnant [and if you're lucky, you've married a gal who, despite being dead on her feet, will politely ask you if you want to go grab a beer, while she watches or not give a shit while you step out to grab a pint on which to sip at the room late at night] -- we sought dessert.
