QotD: I Left My Heart in...
What do you love about where you live?
Submitted by Emu with a Clue.
I'll tell you what I do NOT love about where I live. I do not love these neighbors of mine. These fucking dicks live in a $500,000-plus house in what is considered a somewhat desirable suburb of Detroit and not only do they keep a futon on their porch like some white trash jerkoffs, but they insist, as of April 13, on keeping these items in plain view of everyone who walks by their home.
Oh, that's right, that is both a Christmas wreath AND an Easter display. Christmas was nearly four fucking months ago. Come on.
Comments
Classy.
I see one of those lockboxes on the door handle. Is it for sale?
You would think, but there is no yard sign. I hate these people. And it's funny too, because there is a small cluster of new, fancy builds at the end of our very long street. One was on the market recently for $900,000. They are these spacious, tacky, McMansion-looking things that seem to pop up around town that nobody wants to buy.
And then at the other end you have us, in arguably the cheapest, smallest house on the street. Gotta start somewhere.
My neighbors once had these country looking, giant stuffed rabbits on their porch for Easter. Y'know, craft fair type shit. Anyway, after about a sixer of Guinness, I snuck out in the middle of the night and set it up to have the girl bunny giving head to the guy bunny.
Then I took pictures.
They don't talk to me anymore or put out decorations.
You could set their grass on fire or something. *shrugs*
I can see where that would work. My next step is anonymous hate postcards in their mailbox. "Dear Douchebag ..."